Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.
@ PRISON
You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. @ WORK
You spend the majority of your time
in a 6X6 cubicle /office.
@ PRISON
You get three meals a day fully paid for.
@ PRISON
You get FREE medical & dental work done
@ WORK
You get a break for one meal and
you have to pay for it.
@ WORK
You pay for medical insurance that may or may NOT cover the work you need done
@ PRISON
You get time off for good behavior.
@ WORK
You get more work for
good behavior.
@ PRISON
The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
@ WORK
You must often carry a security card
and open all the doors for yourself.
@ PRISON
You can watch TV and play games.
@ WORK
You could get fired for watching
TV and playing games.
@ PRISON
You get your own toilet.
@ WORK
You have to share the toilet with
some people who pee on the seat.
@ PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit.
@ WORK
You aren't even supposed to speak
to your family.
@ PRISON
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
@ WORK
You get to pay all your expenses to go
to work, and they deduct taxes from
your salary to pay for prisoners.
@ PRISON
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
@ WORK
You spend most of your time wanting
to get out and go inside bars.
@ PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens.
@ WORK
They are called managers.
THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!
15 year old Bobby goes for his first job interview at walmart.The manager is a very hardcore company man asking "Bobby, do you have what it takes to be a Walmart employee?Can you get in the customers head figure out what they want and give it to dthem?Can you Bobby? Can you? Bobby with a typical teen attitude replies "sure dude"The manager then says" Ok Bobby let me take you out there and show you how a pro does it."The two of them stand behind the register when a man comes up and sets a large bag of grass seed on the counter."Goodafternoon sir, I cant help but notice that large bag of grass seed you have,could I interest you in a lawnmower? The man replies"youre right I am going to need a mower cause Im gonna have a big lawn after I plant all this seed I'll take the best mower you have."The man buys a mower and goes on his way."Thats how its done Bobby now lets see what you can do!" "OK! says Bobby. The next man in line walks up and sets a huge box of tampons on the counter."Goodafternoon sir I cant help but thats an awful big box of tampons youve got there,can I interest you in a lawn mower?"The man with a strange look replies" why the hell would I want a lawnmower?" "Well ,bobby replies I can see you wont be getting laid for a week so you may as well mow you F#@%ing lawn
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_______________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is . . .
TEACHER: No, Millie . . . Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right . . . "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_________________________________
TEACHER: GeorgeWashington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Chelsea Clinton comes home from a date.
Hillary asks her how the date went.
Chelsea says "It was great mom, best date I've ever been on. I think I'm in love!"
Hillary says "you didn't sleep with him, did you?"
Chelsea says "No, not according to dad"
Please be advised that your optarectomy operation is scheduled for 8:00
a.m.
The purpose of this operation is to sever the cord that connects your
eyes to your rectum and, hopefully, get rid of your crappy outlook on
life. It has been noted that you have been in less than perfect humor
lately.
Woman asks her husband what he loves most about her. Her pretty face or her sexy body.
Without taking his eyes off the game, he replys "your sense of humor"
Woman asks her husband what he loves most about her. Her pretty face or her sexy body.
Without taking his eyes off the game, he replys "your sense of humor"
Alright you goofball!!!
Now I KNOW that you're a Playboy subscriber. (read that joke last night).
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for
a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every
chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There
is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and
will remain against it..
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of
the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the
road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's
acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new
problems.</ FONT>
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of
having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which
is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he
can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest
of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the
other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell
my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird
gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've
not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see
the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken
should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as t
hat.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and
went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN.........: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
)
(read that joke last night). 
